I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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