I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Randomize
