I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
