I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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