I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
