im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
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