i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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