I want to have your abortion
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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