i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
