I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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