I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You are the jesus of drinking
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
