Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you didnt know i had herpes?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
