My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
