i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
