Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize