I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
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