Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
