apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize