I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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