i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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