matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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