I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
