I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
