My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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