whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
