it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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