the condom got lost in my hair
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to be covered in dicks
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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