She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
