Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize