So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
