she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
