Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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