thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter