New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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