She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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