i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
