the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.