Texts From Last Night

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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)

  (512): View more from Texas

  Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.

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  (504): if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever) (512): Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them. http://tfl.nu/9n19
  Replies (3) Good night (1099) Bad night (496)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna

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  (847): I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna http://tfl.nu/isgx
  Replies (7) Good night (1754) Bad night (2567)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.

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  (971): I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one. http://tfl.nu/nv72
  Replies (17) Good night (3805) Bad night (583)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good

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  (615): my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good http://tfl.nu/bhfg
  Replies (73) Good night (10906) Bad night (1127)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"

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  (815): i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out" http://tfl.nu/k16a
  Replies (9) Good night (1486) Bad night (5402)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.

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  (608): sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself. http://tfl.nu/6c7w
  Replies (26) Good night (10037) Bad night (1708)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.

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  (202): Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke. http://tfl.nu/as75
  Replies (8) Good night (1053) Bad night (4481)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.

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  (902): I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying. http://tfl.nu/q9vl
  Replies (14) Good night (4451) Bad night (989)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone

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  (704): there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone http://tfl.nu/ttuj
  Replies (3) Good night (2827) Bad night (684)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.

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  (330): We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages. http://tfl.nu/bck0
  Replies (3) Good night (639) Bad night (304)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised

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  (719): I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised http://tfl.nu/0hc3
  Replies (2) Good night (721) Bad night (302)
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  (408): View more from California

  Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain

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  (408): Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain http://tfl.nu/bezg
  Replies (2) Good night (735) Bad night (314)
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  (562): View more from California

  I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!

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  (562): I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!! http://tfl.nu/mwf9
  Replies (3) Good night (750) Bad night (393)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  ok thanks goodnight

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person

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  (905): ok thanks goodnight (905): Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person http://tfl.nu/fu6q
  Replies (4) Good night (863) Bad night (280)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick

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  (215): He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick http://tfl.nu/9d7z
  Replies (1) Good night (275) Bad night (421)

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