I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??