Texts From Last Night

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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.

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  (412): I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death. http://tfl.nu/3s8a
  Replies (23) Good night (8130) Bad night (1022)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.

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  (602): Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter. http://tfl.nu/60s7
  Replies (17) Good night (1264) Bad night (4884)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".

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  (361): Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom". http://tfl.nu/v781
  Replies (16) Good night (1210) Bad night (4549)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.

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  (651): Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real. http://tfl.nu/xrrz
  Replies (12) Good night (1002) Bad night (4343)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.

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  (281): so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better. http://tfl.nu/ybcl
  Replies (8) Good night (4152) Bad night (1402)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.

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  (814): We need to get her some penis inspired head protection. http://tfl.nu/pcof
  Replies (6) Good night (2552) Bad night (1098)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday

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  (763): i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday http://tfl.nu/8jt2
  Replies (3) Good night (2171) Bad night (950)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy

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  (717): The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy http://tfl.nu/dgrf
  Replies (8) Good night (1070) Bad night (2364)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.

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  (903): So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that. http://tfl.nu/z5my
  Replies (18) Good night (2002) Bad night (1000)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...

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  (614): not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin... http://tfl.nu/5fas
  Replies (29) Good night (3124) Bad night (955)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"

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  (204): So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you" http://tfl.nu/y1sq
  Replies (6) Good night (849) Bad night (2861)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.

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  (609): Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order. http://tfl.nu/89fj
  Replies (8) Good night (415) Bad night (1207)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!

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  (720): WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!! http://tfl.nu/4pv4
  Replies (5) Good night (386) Bad night (654)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money

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  (325): Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money http://tfl.nu/w1qk
  Replies (1) Good night (524) Bad night (370)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.

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  (720): Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying. http://tfl.nu/q0t7
  Replies (0) Good night (620) Bad night (327)

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