Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.

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  (773): i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink. http://tfl.nu/eils
  Replies (25) Good night (3361) Bad night (542)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  .....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate

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  (303): .....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate http://tfl.nu/8kdy
  Replies (4) Good night (547) Bad night (3940)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression

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  (215): I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression http://tfl.nu/rcf4
  Replies (5) Good night (585) Bad night (3890)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness

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  (856): you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness http://tfl.nu/oa7w
  Replies (11) Good night (3416) Bad night (819)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.

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  (701): I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships. http://tfl.nu/filq
  Replies (12) Good night (3840) Bad night (1152)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.

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  (708): He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed. http://tfl.nu/ytov
  Replies (15) Good night (4975) Bad night (993)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?

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  (909): Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked? http://tfl.nu/pmav
  Replies (7) Good night (2102) Bad night (1051)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.

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  (614): You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city. http://tfl.nu/ce0d
  Replies (4) Good night (1569) Bad night (632)
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  (916): View more from California

  The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.

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  (916): The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight. http://tfl.nu/8kai
  Replies (6) Good night (1075) Bad night (439)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.

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  (971): I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up. http://tfl.nu/s3lx
  Replies (4) Good night (1370) Bad night (424)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I learned so much about myself in that shower.

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  (517): I learned so much about myself in that shower. http://tfl.nu/jhiq
  Replies (7) Good night (914) Bad night (348)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10

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  (817): A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10 http://tfl.nu/8aoh
  Replies (2) Good night (590) Bad night (280)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  its 2pm. u awake yet?

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.

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  (406): its 2pm. u awake yet? (1-406): ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face. http://tfl.nu/0qbj
  Replies (0) Good night (325) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks

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  (412): nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks http://tfl.nu/mqja
  Replies (1) Good night (267) Bad night (449)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here

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  (914): Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here http://tfl.nu/yns8
  Replies (4) Good night (271) Bad night (540)

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