Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with

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  (240): A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with http://tfl.nu/1e7c
  Replies (2) Good night (1704) Bad night (510)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.

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  (724): He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death. http://tfl.nu/mm9y
  Replies (15) Good night (660) Bad night (2564)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses

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  (514): She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses http://tfl.nu/tn5z
  Replies (46) Good night (5907) Bad night (1530)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'

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  (631): the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010' http://tfl.nu/beuj
  Replies (9) Good night (6603) Bad night (1042)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.

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  (818): I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them. http://tfl.nu/l7o1
  Replies (20) Good night (1324) Bad night (6198)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers

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  (416): He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers http://tfl.nu/ldwb
  Replies (15) Good night (4949) Bad night (1442)
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.

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  (936): Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/amif
  Replies (15) Good night (7471) Bad night (982)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?

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  (703): What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'? http://tfl.nu/3ece
  Replies (12) Good night (2426) Bad night (1122)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1

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  (347): I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1 http://tfl.nu/kfm1
  Replies (5) Good night (2244) Bad night (1022)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces

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  (603): You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces http://tfl.nu/ks18
  Replies (6) Good night (1090) Bad night (484)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.

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  (985): Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers. (504): This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot. http://tfl.nu/gotr
  Replies (2) Good night (948) Bad night (460)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry

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  (315): Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry http://tfl.nu/oid7
  Replies (5) Good night (636) Bad night (306)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.

  (1-510): View more from California

  Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume

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  (510): I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion. (1-510): Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume http://tfl.nu/f5c6
  Replies (1) Good night (801) Bad night (288)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra

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  (425): Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra http://tfl.nu/b4si
  Replies (2) Good night (444) Bad night (286)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag

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  (309): My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag http://tfl.nu/a60b
  Replies (2) Good night (247) Bad night (462)

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