Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
im holly from the hills drunk
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
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she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
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He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"