Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Omg the world wants us to be better people