i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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