My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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