The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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