So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
