oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
