i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
