as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
