u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
