counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
