I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
