he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
The police scanner is talking about you again....
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
