wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
