I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
