The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
