Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
