When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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