one might say we're banned from that church
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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