Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
