Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
