Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
