erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
