grandma shit on top of the toilet
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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