he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
