I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
