I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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