I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
