you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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