i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
