Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
